Do you believe that your desires are meant for you?
Or only if they meet up to certain qualifications . . .
So I once dated a guy who, every time things became challenging in our relationship or we disagreed on something, would break up with me. His reasoning was:
“If it was meant to be, it wouldn’t be so hard. We would just get each other and everything would be effortless and would just flow.”
He had some notion that if we had to work at our relationship, something was terribly wrong. It was doomed. His mindset, as Dr. Carol S. Dweck mentions in her book, Mindset, was FIXED. And I thought he was being utterly ridiculous. I mean, everybody knows that relationships take work, right? Trial and error. Learning and growth and discovery and change. Seriously. Helloooo!
But THEN, many years later, when it came to my business, I woke up to the fact that I was approaching things the same way that guy had.
Well, hey there, Melissa’s fixed mindset! This is how it played out: Because I had a lot of things I was naturally good at growing up, if something came along that was interesting, but challenging, I’d give up on it because CLEARLY it was a sign that it wasn’t meant for me. Right?
Maybe you can relate . . .
Now back to your desires. Your dreams.
Which mindset has been evidently at work in your situation?
A FIXED mindset? Or a GROWTH mindset?
Having a fixed mindset is when you believe that your personal qualities or abilities are “set in stone.” Either you’ve got it or you don’t. And so you go about trying to prove yourself through success in various areas of your life.
Something not coming easy? Better ditch it quick before “they” find out you don’t have what it takes.
On the other hand, a growth mindset is one in which you believe that your personal qualities can be developed through cultivation, practice and experience. And then, things can become easy as you and your skills grow. The door is open to discover everything you really could do or be or have.
Right now, you might be at a crossroads, questioning whether your deep desires can ever happen. Are they really worth it? Can you pull it off? Are you willing to go there?
Listen, starting or growing a business, putting an important (vulnerable?) message out into the world, doing anything of significance brings up your internal “stuff.”
And all the strategy, blueprints or, “5 simple steps,” in the world (on their own) won’t be enough to get you to where you need to be, to truly have what you long for.
BUT with the right mindset, the right support (and Divine guidance!), ANYTHING is possible for you.
So this is my heart-felt encouragement: If the desire is there in your heart, it IS meant for you! Don’t give up on it. Don’t give up on you. OK?
With love,
Melissa xx