How good are you at letting go?
In my work helping women get really clear about their big core message, we inevitably come to a place of tension between that deep mission she’s feeling called to, and the pull of her past.
“But I spent a fortune on an expensive university degree / professional certification. I can’t just abandon that investment . . .”
“But I’ve been doing xyz for the past xx years. How can I just leave all of that behind?”
“But I’m a ______________. People know me as __________. How can I give up on that?”
The thread throughout all of these statements here is a sense of loss. Loss of time. Loss of investment. Loss of identity.
I’m not going to pretend it’s an easy thing to empty your hands of what no longer serves you so that you can be free to accept what does.
It’s not easy. It can feel like what’s gone before has been a waste. Pointless. Purposeless. We wonder, what does that say about us then?
The feeling of “losing when choosing” has kept many of my clients stuck. It’s kept ME stuck. Doing things I knew weren’t a right fit (and maybe never were?) because I couldn’t rationalize moving on to something else when I’d poured SO MUCH into them.A quick example: my husband (The Nurturer) started his professional life out in engineering. Early on (before he had much “skin in the game”), he made the switch to teaching. Re-trained. And spent seven years in the classroom. When he felt the pull to return to engineering, there was the same kind of doubt: “Was it all a waste? How can I abandon this? Don’t these kids need me?” It took a little time to settle those things in his heart.
(He’s totally grateful he had the courage to re-direct and loves his new job! But he’ll be the first one to tell you it was a no-guarantees, real leap of faith.)
If you’re feeling the call to a new direction or a new iteration of your current direction, but you’re struggling to actually put your stake in the ground for it, here are my favorite perspective shifts to aid the process . . .
- There’s a reason you’re feeling this divine discontent. It’s a spiritual sign that something has to change. Or you wouldn’t be feeling this way.
- Nothing is ever a waste. Think of it in terms of transferable skills. What can you take from your previous season that can serve you in the new?
- What if it was never about “that thing” after all? I know someone who went to an expensive drama school to be a working actress (well, of course!), but realized that it was never about her becoming an actress. Rather it was about her knowing what it feels like to follow a dream – something she’d never done before. And something that she’d need for the future.
- It’s a sign that you’re growing as a person. You’re ready to step into the next version of yourself. The one that’s wiser. Ready to expand. More confident, fulfilled, capable. More you. Growth is good.
- You have permission. Did you hear me? You have permission. Sometimes that’s all my client needs to know. You have permission to follow your intuition. (Say that out loud – it’s catchy!) Permission to let go of what you were doing, or who you were “being” then. Permission to do something completely new. To move in a new direction.
It can be scary. I know it can. Especially when you’re navigating this kind of thing on your own. But don’t let fear steal this from you! If this is going on for you now, it’s safe to surmise the time to move is either here, or very close.
(And you probably know this deep down, don’t you?)
Be really real with yourself here. Are you feeling fully expressed in our life and business? Are you sharing the message you’ve been called to convey? Are you working with people who really light you up (or are you taking whoever comes along?)?
If you’re sensing a shift is in the atmosphere, whether you know the direction or not, and could use some support, someone to get stuck in there with you and help you navigate it all with clarity, just get in touch. I’d love to see if I can help.
Things might be about to get really exciting for you. 😉
With love,
Melissa xx